The problem was the pastor. He was day and night every week, sometimes he was nice for weeks at a time. One day he might be in a good mood or come in the next morning and start something with me. It was always the morning, first thing.
Sunday nights I always was anxiously upset wondering what awaited me bright and early each Monday morning. Would it be quiet and a good day or would I be belittled and fussed at for no good reason. And then was the his mood going to shift during the week.
I lived with this mean-streaked, power hungry, ego beyond belief of a pastor for over 3 years and it was really taking it's toll on me. He could turn it off just as quick as a clapper when one of his members entered the front of the church (you can hear down the hall from our offices when someone came in). I seriously feel he was trying to get me to quit. I know, I know, you're thinking a pastor? Well, there are those out there. I mean just look at the fallen ones from TV.
But he and I were in a business relationship and he wasn't trying to get me to be one of his "numbers" sitting a pew on Sunday mornings. He never treated me like he did his congregation and I got use to that, didn't like it but I lived with it. Numbers drove him to be as kind as he could to get his congregation to grow and it has. Sad truth though, they really are just "numbers" to him.
But I had decided even though my husband was loosing hours at work, and even though I knew there were no jobs for me with my back condition as it is, that I could no longer deal with the stress of the situation.
I was suppose to go up for an evaluation back in August. I had been working there for over 4 and half years with no job description. I did was I was asked and told to do. I was never late on any assignment. I even came in on Saturdays if I was sick and needed to get caught up.
After being there a year I knew exactly what my job was and it was all good as far as that went. But then after asking for a job description about 2 years ago(this was to cover myself to show I was doing everything I was suppose to be doing) and possibly they would see that I had at times gone above and beyond my job description at times, I received one this April! Wow 2 years in the making...lol.
In the job description was only one new thing, other than what I had been doing for 4 and a half years, an evaluation, and in this (what I WILL call a binding contract, because it was signed by me and chairman, agreeing on what was in it), it was to be held in August...yet..they put the evaluation off until little over a week into November and I knew after talking to the chairman from their little hiring/firing committee that they were going to keep me until into January and get all their loose ends tied up before probably letting me go.
We are talking annual reports, financial reports, tax exemptions to send out...on and on...Christmas programs, tons of stuff to do in December. Anyway, I had already figured out the head-game that was going on, and I am sure the congregation knew none of this. NOTHING.
So, Joey and I talked and decided that we would never be financially ready for me to go back to school, so why not just DO IT! It's been something I have been kicking myself in the butt for years now. So I set things in motion and I start January 5th at TN Tech. Center here in McMinnville.
I had planned on giving a 2 weeks notice on December 1st and my last day would have been December the 12th. But on the third Monday of November after telling boss man that I would be late for work on December 5th due to personal reasons he went off. I didn't want to tell him why I was to be late. He started raising his voice and telling me that I had to be there.
Sorry, but I do have days when I must do things very important and can't help it. Plus, I only missed 2 days of work in 5 months. Finally after he named off several things, trying to name anything and everything it could be. I just gave in for the sake of him to quit and so I told him that I was in fact going to an orientation for school and wanted to take some computer classes. He asked if I couldn't go after work. I asked him did he think he could call the school up and arrange a special orentation for me.
Obviously being miffed he told me I was to find a replacement to sit and answer the phones, easy, my mom would love to come in and answer the phones while I was there but he wanted me to search harder. So I found a replacement. I thought that was that.
NOPE
All HELL (this is not me cussing, I do NOT cuss) broke out on Tuesday when he came in and started right in on me. Telling me i was contracted to be there 20 hours a week in that chair (my chair...lol). Oh did I mention I was part-time? Yeah. Anyway, it escalated into him yelling, I told him to quit yelling at me, he said he was not yelling, so I asked him to not raise his voice at me, and while he was not "yelling" perhaps it was "raising his voice", he said he was not raising his voice. Must have hearing problems that moment.
Anyway, I've dealt with this kind of attitude for years with him. I've told those I thought should know of this but those who should have cared when I tried to tell them either didn't believe me or didn't care how he treated me. In fact they went to HIM and not the proper channels.
So he decided to throw that up in my face. That I had told them he had harassed me numerous times, which he had. He said he never did any such thing. I gave him one of the times. I pointed as he did to me the day this occurrence happened, and he said and I quote "I have my eyes on you and I am watching you" Don't point your finger at me and say that and think I am not going to get offended. He went into his office and slammed the door, then in 5 seconds he was back in my office this time in my face and smirked, like a 6th grader, "I never pointed at you but you just pointed at ME!"
It didn't even stop there, he went on for 30 minutes, I had not even began to start any work. He told me "You better be looking for another job, because you aren't going to make it." Hmm, really now? He was not the hiring or firing committee. I knew it, he DID want me gone and was working overtime to get me frazzled. Yet, he didn't know that I was leaving in 3 weeks. And going to school FULL-TIME.
In my evaluation I was told that I had a "thankless" job. That the less my name was mentioned the better, I did every single printing that came out of that office, I did all the paperwork for that church and I am to not get notice or thanked. SORRY. Oh, well I never got thanked for any extra things I did for the pastor. Like help him plan a Gatlinburg vacation for his wife or the time I made, designed and printed up 200 business cards for his son from my house, on my computer, using my software. No thanks at all.
But before I went into work Tuesday morning I felt this prompting, a strong one, to type up a letter to resign that had no date on it but a line I could fill in with a date I would resign WITHOUT A 2 WEEKS notice. See, I had already made a letter out to resign for my planned 2 weeks notice a week prior and I carried it around with me eager to turn it in and get the heck out of Dodge.
And you know what he had me so shaken up I was beside myself. I left my office and called the chairman and got his voice mail. I walked back into the church and as I came down the hallway I heard ole boss man talking about me and leaving everything out about him and making things up as he went.
By the way, I was told by chairman, in my evaluation, that boss man never ran to them about me that they asked him. LIES!!!!!!!!!!
I told boss man while he was on the phone to "tell the truth, tell the whole story" and as nonchalantly he said "Can you hear her (pulling the phone away from his face towards the door where I was standing), do see what I am talking about?" all the time smiling at me!
I told him to tell chairman to get over to the church ASAP that I was resigning immediately (I pulled the prompted newly typed letter out of my back pocket and waved it in the air). Then I smiled.
I had already cleared my office out about 2 months prior after having one of those days with boss man thinking I might NOT return then, so all that was left to grab was a mug, a fan, and a wreath I had on the wall.
I waited for chairman to drive up and then I just broke down crying. I explained that I hated leaving this way but I couldn't stay one second longer.
I told him through my heavy tears "They will see the real him, somebody will see it." I must have said it 4 times. Then I apologized that I didn't want to leave like this without telling the congregation goodbye. I made some great friends. Those were some good people being led by a totally different person I had come to know. Although I must add that some WERE seeing what I was seeing already.
There is no telling what has been said about me, I have no clue what they must think. I've received a few Christmas cards but no questions on why I left. Boss man probably made something up or told people I was fired.
It took me about 3 days to calm down from the mental ranting I got from ole boss man, lol, don't have to call him that anymore now.
I'm happier than I have ever been. Financially we ARE strapped but we WILL get by because I WAS suppose to leave that day. My Heavenly Father made sure of it. He prompted me to write that letter which almost made me late for work that morning. I have to giggle at that.
My life looks very bright. And about the 2 weeks notice thing, before chairman got there that morning, GET THIS, my ex-boss man smirked and asked "Don't you want to put in a 2 weeks notice for your resume?" Nope, I thought if I was there for 5 years I must have been doing something right.
Besides I was leaving work to go back to school.
Listen to your heart, listen for that small voice deep within you, it's there for a reason, listen for the promptings that God gives us and we can never go wrong.
One last thing for ex-boss man and/or his 2 side kicks...........
THIS IS MY RIGHT OF FREEDOM OF SPEECH IF YOU READ THIS...but you will probably decide to cut and paste or tamper with it to suit you and who know come after me for slander or something but I don't think you know how to do that, because I'm not there to help you figure anything out anymore. Miss me yet...lol!!!
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