Purina Dog Food

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?.....

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

Twas the Night Before Christmas...Mom Style

Twas the Night Before Christmas...Mom Style © By Catherine Cornell

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the abode, Only one creature was stirring, she was cleaning the commode. The children were sleeping, all snug in their beds, While visions of X-box 360 and IPODS flipped through their heads.

Dad was snoring in front of the family TV With a half-constructed bike propped up on his knee. So only Mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter, Which made her sigh, 'Now what's the matter?'

With toilet brush still clutched in her hand, She descended the stairs and saw an old man All covered with soot, which fell with a shrug' 'Oh great,' muttered Mom, 'now I have to clean up the rug.'

'Ho! Ho! Ho!' cried Santa, 'I'm glad you're awake--- My gift to you was especially difficult to make.' 'Thanks Santa, but all I want is time alone.' 'Exactly!' he chuckled, 'so I've made you a clone.'

'A clone?' she muttered. 'What good is that?' Now run along Santa, I've no time to chat.' Then out walked the clone, the dear mother's twin, Same hair and same eyes, the same double chin.

'She'll cook and she'll dust, she'll mop every mess, You'll relax, take it easy, watch the Young and Restless.' 'Fantastic!' mom cheered, 'My dream has come true!' 'I'll shop and I'll read and I'll sleep the night through!'

From the room up above, the youngest did fret. 'Mommy come quickly----I'm scared and I'm wet!' The clone replied, 'I'm coming sweetheart.' 'WOW!' the mom smiled. 'She sure knows her part.'

The clone changed the small one and sung him a tune As she bundled him up in a blanket cocoon. 'You're the best mommy ever---I really love you!' The clone smiled and said, 'I love you too!'

The real mom frowned and said 'Santa , no deal! That's my baby's love that she's trying to steal.' Smiling wisely Santa said, 'To me it's so clear, Only one loving mother is needed right here.'

The mom kissed her child and tucked him in bed, 'Thank you so much, dear Santa, for clearing my head', Knowing time goes too fast ,and it won't be too long, That her children will no longer need her cradle nor song,

The clock on the mantle then began to chime; Santa whispered to the clone, 'It works every time.' And with the clone at his side, Santa said,' Goodnight Merry Christmas, dear mom, you will be all right!'

May you all have a very merry whatever this holiday season. Love and hugs from my family to yours!!! ~Rennie~

HAVING A PROBLEM

Is it just me or am I the only one who can't edit their posts after they have been posted? I've checked the edit key to show up but it won't. If you read this and you are or are not having this problem PLEASE let me know. Thanks ~ Rennie

Thanks to the 3 Star Mall

A friend of mine who knows the owners of 3-Star Cinema, said they have made the decision not to bring “The Golden Compass” into our town. This person said a few people have been asking him why he didn’t get it in and they wished he had. We need to send a short thank you note to the owners and let them know we appreciate what they’ve done. It’s been very slow for them lately and this will cost them monetarily, but I know God will bless them because of their decision. Also, if you haven’t gone to the show in a while, you might consider going to 3-Star cinema and be sure to let them know you came out to show support for their decision.

You can go to kids-in-mind.com to get complete movie ratings. Numbers are 1-10 with 1 being the mildest or best rating.

The 1st number refers to sex/nudity…2nd number refers to violence…3rd number refers to profanity

“National Treasure” 1.4.1. No sex/nudity at all, no profanity

“Alvin & the Chipmunks” 2.3.2.

“I am Legend” 2.7.3.

“Fred Claus” 2.3.2. no sex/ nudity at all, 3 mild obsenities & 1 religious exclamation

“Enchanted” 3.2.1. man walks in on nude woman showering but she covers herself before he sees her (I’m not sure if audience sees her or not), in one scene man says he’s looking for a “prince” & it’s implied he’s homosexual.

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

A Letter From Jesus

Dear Children,

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. Maybe you've forgotten that I wasn't actually born during this time of the year and that it was some of your predecessors who decided to celebrate My birthday on what was actually a time of pagan festival. Although I do appreciate being remembered anytime.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a sc ene depicting my birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this t ime of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing George complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up. It will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary, especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.

9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army, or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.

Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember:

I LOVE YOU, JESUS

Humor: Only An Italian Man Can...

ONLY AN ITALIAN MAN CAN MAKE A WOMAN FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman in particular loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails.
Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable!
Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?" For a moment there is silence.
Everyone has forgotten their own peril.

They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then an Italian man stands up in the rear of the plane.
He is gorgeous, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and blue eyes.
He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt........one button at a time. No one moves.

......He removes his shirt.

......Muscles ripple across his chest.

......She gasps...

......and He says to her......

"Iron this, and get me something to eat ..."

THE GIFT OF LOVE

THE GIFT OF LOVE

Before the voices of the Earth’s choir were raised in praise… there was a silent night.

Before the strings of lights were wound around the world, and tinsel strung… there was a single star.

Before the wide-eyed wonder of a child on Christmas morn…

Before the gifts… there was a child, born in Bethlehem, who showed the world the greatest gift of all...is love.

Our "Tribute" Christmas Tree

Here is a picture of the Tribute Tree. I have put it up every Christmas since 9/11. It honors all who fight for our rights for freedom all those who put themselves in harms way that we may sleep peacefully at night and who protect us from harm. Those who go out of their way to help us in time of need. It's in the our den.

The angel is a tribute for all those who have sacrified their lives for us.

And this is the scoundrel who jumped the tree right after I took the pictures. And yes she looks like an angel here. This is one of our twins, her name is "Switch." She is a whole other blog for another time.

One of our trees so far.....

We have two Christmas trees. One is a 7 foot and is a very traditional tree. It is in the living room. Then we have a 3 foot tree which is totally devoted to our US soldiers, past and present. Yes, we are very patriotic. Joey served several years in the Marine Corps, my father retired from the Army and my grandfather retired from the Air Force. It runs through our veins. It is adorned with red, white and blue glass balls, white snowflakes and a gorgeous angel to honor those who have fallen in duty.

We have started on the traditional one. All that is left is to place the Angel on top but we've not brought the correct tote up yet that has her in it AND I am debating on whether to put my Burgundy ribbons on the tree yet.

The other one which is in the den has been set up but hasn't had any ornaments placed on it yet but I have added the angel which is almost half the size of the tree, she drapes down one side of it (pictures to come).

Tay is staying the night with mom and dad tonight so no Christmas decorating is going on tonight. Possibly will finish up everything tomorrow afternoon. I just wanted to post a picture of the tree in the living room.

Yes, I Craft

This year I've been doing mint wreaths for family and friends. I did these about 7 years ago and loved doing them. Then got burned out immediately after completely the number i had chosen to do that year for presents and I've decided that enough time has passed that I have the patience to do these again. Amazingly I've not burned out yet and that's good because I have about 3 more to go.

The only downfall about having these as Christmas presents is that I feel you need to do them several weeks prior to Christmas so those I give to will have time to enjoy them. You can hang these in cool, dark closets and they will last for the next year and can be re-used (is that a word???). Of course I did not make them to last, they ARE to be eaten and shared. Or you can toss them. Once they are out of my hands it's really up to the person.

Personally, I think they are very pretty! I hope people don't think they are tacky. One wreath takes about 4 hours non-stop but I never can sit for that long of time. I am a get up and do this, then remember to do that, then get side-tracked and do something else and then remember "Oh yeah, I was doing that" kind of person. Confused? Yeah, well that's me.

All you need is:

• a wire coat hanger
• 2 and a half bags of WRAPPED TIED mints (peppermint, spearmint, cinnamon discs)
• curling ribbon (red, green, white and/or gold)
• a pair of scissors

Take the wire hanger and bend it into a circle. You'll keep the neck of the hanger as the actual "hanger" to hang it up where ever. To cut down on candy and ribbon and time, you can cut the hanger and make any size circle you want. I did ONE hanger the full size without down sizing it and it took forever but it's very pretty.

I now have Joey cut them for me and make just a bit smaller wreaths. You'll then want to start and cut ribbon in strips. The length can very depending on how you want your ribbon to look. You can curl it with the scissors or leave them uncurled, it's just a person's preference. Tie the ribbon to one end of the wrapped candy then tie the ribbon to the hanger. I tie the ribbon ONCE around one end of the candy, THEN I that ribbon twice to the actual wire. You continue to do this until the entire wire wreath is jammed full of candy. I then go back and curl all the ribbon ends.

I do it where I will cut all the ribbon at once, then I sit and while watching TV, I will tie each piece of candy and after all the candy has ribbons tied to them I then tie them to the wire wreath. It's faster that way.

The prettiest wreath I did was for Taylor's teacher's family, The Weeter's. Michael is our Bishop as well as Kristy being Tay's 5th grade teacher. I used all red cinnamon discs and only green curling ribbon, it was beautiful. I took a very pretty bow and topped it off, that hides the hook of the hanger that you will use to hang it with. Unfortunately, I have no picture of that one.

My variations have been all peppermint with just gold curling ribbon which will be going to my neighbors, Steve and Bonnie Davis, and then I have made several with both the peppermint (red & white) and the spearmint (green & white) candies with red, white and green curling ribbon. I've done all spearmints with just red curling ribbon and that is pretty as well. You get the idea. The possibilities are endless on the looks.

Taylor has helped me tie ribbons to the candy but that was one wreath. This it's a very child friendly craft!!!

Where have I been and how am I now???

The first bit was written probably around July-ish and the rest in red is present day.

THE PAIN Pain started about the middle of May. Pain is 24/7 with bouts of intense pain that last for 30 minutes to an hour. The pain has increased as time has gone on. Usually pain is 7-8 out of 10 and the severe bouts are a 11!!! Pain whether it's a 1 or a 12 is always there, no matter what I have taken.

The pain is a constant steady cramping accompioned by sometimes sharp, intense pain. Possibly inflamed. The pain is in my abdomen. The lower intestines tend to hurt the worst. When the pain localizes its in the lower left side (the pain there hurts the very worst). BUT it does localized in the under left breast, under right breast and lower right side. Feels like my intestines are the source of the pain. At times it feels like serious Menstrual pain but I know that can't be due to the full hysterectomy, its usually accompanied by 24/7 Nausea as well. Back pain started in August. The back pain start from the lower front on both side and radiates towards the back to meet in the middle but never quite meets in the middle. It is not just a lower back pain.

MY QUALITY of LIFE My day to day life is non-existent! I get up get ready for work, take Taylor to School (one street over) then 2 blocks over the bypass and another block I am at work, I am the Administrative Assistant for Christ United Methodist Church & their Pastor Mark Carrigan. I work 4 hours, return home at noon and lay down and wait til it is time to pick Taylor up. If the pain is so severe or i haven't slept the night before due to the pain I ask my father to go get Tay for me (he has to come across town, it hurts so bad I can't just jump in a vehicle and drive one block over to get her), I am in PJs by 3 pm. I do not go out unless it is to a Doctor's appointment. On the weekends I stay in bed as late as I can tolerate it and I have missed more Sundays at Church than I can count. I do stay in PJs though the entie weekend.

I would ask to be put on medical leave right now because the pain is so intense but I feel I need a diagnosis before I do that. I try to be at work every day, sometimes I have to go home early due to the pain but i do try to be there. They need me.

HOW AM I NOW After a colonoscopy, cat-scan, Hyda Scan, bladder test, blood werk, and multiple doctor visits with my PCP, OB/GYN, Gastroenterologist I finally had to stop and go see my chiropractor. My back pain had gotten so bad that I had to have something done for it before I was to be sent to a neurologist next for the "Mysterious Pain" and lo and behold after several visits with Leland my pain was now manageable with a low does pain pill & nausea meds. Apparently, I had several vertebrae "out of whack" and they were pinching SEVERAL nerves that were going down to my lower abdomen was and apparently sending all this info to my brain saying "Hey, your intestines hurt!!!" Which was false. So after all those tests, all those visits, all those months and needless to say all that money spent it was my back!!!

I will probably always have to go to the chiropractor every week. I was in a very terrible and serious car wreck back in 1995 where it actually curved my spine and I broke a steel and wooden steering wheel with my face. I suffered some brain damage and to this day I can not do math, that is gone, I'm not even good with a calculator...lol.

I've just started to get out of the house. I was able to go to the Christmas Parade and see Tay in the parade and I escorted my husband to his annual Christmas party for work. I'm still in my PJs by 3pm and weekend are still a time where I rest A LOT. But I feel myself living again. I'm not blogged down with intense pain anymore.

I also started Nutri-System in mid-June and have lost 65lbs and that has helped me feel better about myself, inside and out. So hopefully as I get things straightened out, I'll be out and about more and more.

I joke now to my friends about "Rennie sightings" and "Who has seen Rennie this week?" It's nice to get a life back again. I like living among the living. I'm no longer bound to the bed. My house, yeah probably, but I can get about now. Slowly taking it day by day.

My number one goal is to get back to church and I am going to hit it head on. I miss my church family tremendously. Although it has grown so much since I have been there and I know I won't know many people but there are those who I cherish with all my heart. So here's to my health and may you have a "Rennie Sighting" soon.

A Mom's Christmas List

Dear Santa, I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes: I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season.

Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, MOM...

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

The Sneeze ~ True Story

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded uditorium. With their rich maroon gowns flowing... and the traditional caps, they looked almost... as grown up as they felt.

Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears. This class would NOT pray during the commencements----not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.

The speeches were nice, but they were routine.....until the final speech received a standing ovation. A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened.

All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED!!!!

The student on stage.. simply looked at the audience and said, "GOD BLESS YOU, each and every one of you!" And he walked off stage...

The audience exploded into applause. This graduating class had found an unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's approval.

Isn't this a wonderful story? This is a true story; it happened at the University of Maryland.

My thoughts: I find it so sad that in today's world that we are so politically correct that we have found ourselves so over-sensitive to something as special as a prayer or thanking God for the simplest of things in public.

GOD BLESS YOU,

~Rennie~

Christmas at Arlington Cemetary

Rest easy, sleep well my brothers. Know the line has held, your job is done. Rest easy, sleep well. Others have taken up where you fell, the line has held. Peace, peace, and farewell...

Readers may be interested to know that these wreaths -- some 5,000 -- are donated by the Worcester Wreath Co. of Harrington, Maine. The owner, Merrill Worcester, not only provides the wreaths, but covers the trucking expense as well. He's done this since 1992. A wonderful guy.

Also, most years, groups of Maine school kids combine an educational trip to DC with this event to help out. Making this even more remarkable is the fact that Harrington is in one the poorest parts of the state.

Would you like to see hundreds of wreaths laid to honor veterans in your state or community? Express your patriotism and gratitude by getting involved at the participating location near you. Please visit Wreaths Across America for a listing of participating locations near you.

My thoughts: It's so much better to give than to receive! May you have a wonderful Christmas.

Thoughtfully, ~Rennie~

Postcards to Our Soldiers

Saying thanks to a US Deployed Soldier through a REAL Postcard !!!

This is neat!!!Xerox is running a program that allows you to have a free customized paper thank you card sent to a deployed US soldier. The cards feature pictures picked from drawings by children that were sent in from all over the country. You can use a canned message or create your own message.

To send a free postcard you just need to visit the

Let's Say Thanks site and follow the instructions. You can't choose the service person that receives the card, and you are not allowed to include personal information such as an email address or mailing address. If you want to send a card to a specific service person you can download a card and print and mail it yourself.

The cards are sent monthly with care packages provided by "Give2TheTroops."

My Thoughts: Send more than one!!! I did!!!

Thoughtfully yours, ~Rennie~